Mr. Muddle's Befuddled Universe

The Fog of the Blog: MIA

Today was Tomorrow just Yesterday*
— The Art of Peering Around the Bend —

Coffee break or Nap?

You may have noticed I haven't been around here much lately. I've noticed, and I've been mighty surprised by that observation!

I started the new year with a manic agenda for new writing. I felt I was finally ready to hit one out of the old ball park. But it ends up human foresight is limited.

Don't be concerned, but the Muddle family currently has a distraction. As a result, I may not write for Tim's Befuddled Universe as frequently as I would wish. On the other hand, I want to continue writing as much as I can to keep myself from going crazy. So,... we will have to wait to see how things work themselves out, won't we?

John Fogerty & Keith Urban
"Centerfield (Crossroads 5; live)"

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The Fog of The Blog: Going Green

``It's not easy being green" — Kermit the Frog*

Wassup with the Pop-Up?

Sometime after starting this blog, I tried Google, Amazon, and Typepad ads, but if anyone made any money from those ads it was Google, Amazon, and Typepad; not befuddled.org. Additionally, the ads took up a lot of space, and they were distracting; so I removed the ads, and ever since I have resisted the use of advertisement in the pages of Tim's Befuddled Universe.

A fews month back I was contacted by a representative of Kontera regarding their in-text advertising. After considering this very carefully, I decided to proceed.

Be aware that the Pop-Up Ads are activated by passing your mouse over a word with a double underline. You can easily avoid the Pop-Ups by avoiding these words with your mouse. However, if you are interested in reading the ad, feel free.

Kermit the Frog — ``It's Not Easy Being Green"

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Submissions: Poetry

Guidelines for Poetry Submissions

Tim' Befuddled Universe will start accepting poetry submissions. Befuddled.org hopes to publish one or two poems per month on a trial basis. If this experiment works well, then befuddled.org will continue publishing poems.

Preferences

• Poems must demonstrate interpersonal relationships between people, or an internal struggle within a single individual.
• Poems must be between 10–40 lines long.
• Use examples from real life to demonstrate your thesis.
• Avoid generalities and clichés.
• For examples see: http://www.befuddled.org/poems/

Terms

• The submitter must own the copyright to the submitted poem.
• Submitted poems must be provided to befuddled.org free and without fee of any kind.
• The submitter will maintain full copyright of all submitted poems.
• Tim's Befuddled Universe only asks permission to publish accepted poems on befuddled.org.
• Appropriate links and credits will be provided, when a poem is published on befuddled.org.

How to Submit

• The submission must be made by the poem's copyright owner.
• The submission must be made via email. The submission email address is: tim at timnull dot com.
• The submission email must contain the following information:

1. The name of the poem's submitter/copyright owner.
2. If you wish to publish the poem using a pseudonym, please state your intention in the initial email, and specify the pseudonym you wish to use.
3. State the poem's copyright year.
4. If applicable, a link to where a copy of the poem can be found elsewhere on the web.
5. Specify your city and state of residence, if you are from the USA. If you reside outside the USA, please specify the city and country where you reside.
6. Include a full TEXT (i.e., ASCII or HTML) copy of the poem being submitted via email. (Format the poem as you wish it to be formatted, when it is published.)

If you have any questions, email Tim prior to making your submission.

The Fog of The Blog: Business Card

Online Publishing

``I am a humorous, because comedians are expected to be funny."

— Stocker Null

Contact Info for Tim Null (AKA Stocker Null & TSNull)

Email:  tim@timnull.com
Address: Send a request via email, and I will provide my shipping address; if needed, I will also provide my phone number.

Main Links

Tim's Befuddled Universe: http://www.befuddled.org
Stumbleupon: http://timnull.stumbleupon.com/
Personal photos: http://befuddled.smugmug.com
FriendFeed: http://friendfeed.com/timnull
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/timnull

Other Links

Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/timnull
Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/user/timnull/
YouTube: http://uk.youtube.com/tsnull
deviantART: http://timnull.deviantart.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/timnull
Facebook: /people/Tim-Null/547675966

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The Fog of The Blog: New Columnist

``The fog of war."*

``I love it when a plan comes together."

— Colonel John ``Hannibal" Smith
(A fictional character from The A-Team

``Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."**

— John Lennon

Wassup?

I made some big plans for this blog back in December of 2005. Around February of 2006 I realized my big plans weren't worth squatola. Ever since, I have tried to thunk up a new plan. In this column I will try to keep you up-to-date on all the confusion. That way you might even learn what's happening before I figure it out.

Next Thing: New Columnist

Edith (long a, deet')

Tim's Befuddled Universe is proud to announce our next columnist, Edith. Edith is a mature woman. Her column will be sexy, earthy, vibrant, practical, political, ecological, and (did I mention?) sexy.

Look for the first Essays from Edith column in the very near future.

La Vida Roja with Crazy Red

Fans of La Vida Roja with Crazy Red will be happy to hear that Crazy Red will be back in full ruby plumage telling delightful familial stories. So put your chaps on, and pull your chair up to the dinner table, because it won't be long before Sunday lunch is cookin' again in East Texas.

[10 March 2009 Update] Crazy Red has decided (for now anyway) to focus on her CrazyRed7 blog at StumbleUpon. One of the purposes of Tim's Befuddled Universe is the introduction of talent to new audiences. We hope new readers have discovered CrazyRed due to her time with us, and that these new readers will follow CrazyRed to her blog on StumbleUpon.

**This John Lennon quote is a line of lyric from the song ``Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)" off Lennon's Double Fantasy album (1980).

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CrazyRedLand: Don't mess with redheads!

Editorial Notes
Re: La Vida Roja with Crazy Red*

BEFUDDLED HISTORY

Itty-Bitty Courage

Crazy Red is currently on vacation. Before she left, she wrote a bushel and a peck worth of columns (8 gallons and 8 quarts worth to be precise).

Well, some of these columns were itty-bitty columns, so the plan was that I would act like a big-time Editor, and merge the itty-bitty columns into a related larger column without mucking things up.

I was unnerved by this ``mucking things up" business.

I thought, ``Well, if I try to learn something new every day for awhile, maybe in a couple weeks I will be smart enough to edit these columns without screwing `em up too terribly bad."

The Long Handle of the Law

Before I had summoned enough courage, I was summoned to serve for jury service.

(In legalese: On, or about, September 2, 2008 I was ordered to report to the Superior Court.)

Now I sit amongst a group of my peers; that is, I am currently serving on a jury.

Please, do not expect me to comment in these pages regarding my jury duty, other than to say (a) my term of jury duty is likely to continue until the end of September 2008, (b) the folks on the jury are super cool, and (c) the number of postings on befuddled.org are likely to be markedly decreased, while I am serving on the jury.

THE EDITOR THINGY

Don't Mess with Redheads

Last night Unnamed Daughter and I fired up the old DVR, so we could watch the first episode for the second season of the Sarah Connor Chronicles.

Well, towards the end of the episode the Catherine Weaver (Shirley Manson) character morphs out of a urinal.

Right after that, Unnamed Daughter turns to me, and says, ``Don't mess with redheads!"

(Did I forget to mention that Unnamed Daughter is a redhead?)

No Editor Thingy

I will be putting up the La Vida Roja with Crazy Red columns as fast as I can with as little editing as possible. And I will attempt to post the  columns as close to the date they were written as I can. That will mean many of the columns will be backdated. All of Crazy Red's column's are available here, so you can check to make sure you haven't missed any.

I will try to get her columns caught up as fast as I can.

If you don't think I am posting Crazy Red's columns fast enough, you can (a) email Crazy Red to complain, or (b) check out Crazy Red's postings on StumbleUpon.

— Tim

*http://www.befuddled.org/crazyred/

PS — Our thoughts are with the good folks in East Texas in this time of need, after suffering much damage and hurt from Hurricane Ike.

Garbage featuring Shirley Manson
perform ``The World is Not Enough"

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Tim's Befuddled Universe: Back to the Future

The Future of Tim's Befuddled Universe
            —       also Loose-Leaf Living        —

This posting supersedes ANY & ALL previous statements regarding Tim's Befuddled Universe, and/or Loose-Leaf Living.

When I returned from my illness, quite some time ago, I said there would be changes. This document outlines my current vision for Tim's Befuddled Universe.

This document will be updated from time to time without notice. The updates will include additions and changes that I deem necessary to implement my vision for this website.

BIG HOWEVER! Although, I frequently hear from people who would like to have material published in these pages, I rarely hear from the folks who actually read these pages day in and day out. I know that is my fault. I hope I can rectify my error.

I encourage frequent readers to contact me, and let me know (a) what stories you have enjoyed in the past, and (b) what types of stories you would encourage me to pursue in the future.

BACKGROUND

SUBMISSIONS:

1. Watch for periodic announcements.
2. Two regular  features will continue into the foreseeable future:  (a) MAILBOX and  (b) Winter Holiday Song submissions.
   (A Valentine's Day event may become an annual event.)
3. The continuation of The Chewy Choice Award is uncertain.
4. Otherwise, if you would like to inquire about submitting a song, photo, painting, poem, essay, film trailer, short film, music video, short fiction, etc, please send me (i.e., Tim) an email inquiry, or contact me either on Myspace, StumbleUpon, or LinkedIn.

All submissions are considered, but few are selected;
however selection does not guarantee publication.

PUBLICATION SCHEDULE: I publish what I want, when I want.

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE: The central purpose of this blog is to promote the writing of Tim Null (AKA Stocker Null, TSNull).

PRIME DIRECTIVE: Have Fun! (Or change meds!)

BLOG SUBTITLE: Cornpone philosophy, Quips, & Cantankerous thinking.

NEW DIRECTION

The current blog subtitle summarizes the content focus that Tim's Befuddled Universe will have in the future.

Cornpone philosophy

Loose-Leaf Living will have a new format, it will be fully integrated into Tim's Befuddled Universe, and the series will essentially "start over". (Don't worry! The original Loose-Leaf Living postings will remain as they are. Nothing will be moved or altered.)

The new Loose-Leaf Living format will be unnumbered, and it will have the following main headings: Observation, Commentary, and Conclusion. It will be very serious stuff indeed.

An effort will be made to repost the Loose-Leaf Living musings on Myspace in a timely fashion for those folks who prefer reading the series at that venue.

Quips

In the future, my comments on works of art will generally be limited to short quips and blurbs. However, I do have about a half dozen outstanding writing commitments, which I plan to honor before I fully implement this policy. In addition, in the future I also plan to have guest reviewers and commentators.

Cantankerous Thinking

Now that I am 60 years old, I expect some allowances. It's my due. I am long past way overdue. I have always had people looking over my shoulder sniping about what I do and say. I've had enough of that to last several lifetimes. I figure I have reached that certain age where I ought to be allowed to say what I think. If you don't agree, you can go hitch your undies to a windmill. (I say that with good tidings for a pleasant ride.)

So, from time to time, when there's a red moon on the horizon, I just might let the feathers fly in the breeze. Or, I might take a nap. It can be even Steven sometimes.

``Book `em Danno"

The grand plan includes a Tim's Befuddled Universe book at some point in the game.

Of course, at this point in history, a book can be loosely defined. Allow me offer the following definition of a ``book". A book is something with (1) a beginning, (2) an end, (3) some semblance of order,  and (4) too many words for a sane person to read in one sitting.

Other than that a ``book" might be a website, a PDF file, a stack of typed paper, a traditional paper-bound book, or whatever. A befuddled book might be several, or even all of those things.

Should I ever sit down and organize my conception of how a befuddled book would be organized, it would impact the operation of this website in that future postings would serve to fill gaps in the book. But, for better or worse, we need not worry about this as yet.

Harry & Olive: Their True Adventures

I haven't mentioned how Harry & Olive fits into all this, have I? Well that's something for another discussion, but let me say this much: For the next couple years, Harry & Olive will be my Number #1 project.

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Contact Tim's Befuddled Universe

Befuddling Who, What, When, & Where

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Tim’s Befuddled Universe
• cornpone philosophy :: quips :: vintage viewpoints •      

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• If you would like to email Tim just to chat, please click on the link that follows. (Who knows, we might learn a thing or two about each other. Perhaps, we might even become friends. A person once told me, ``You can never have too many friends.'' But, on the other hand, we might never become friends, if you don't contact me.):

Befuddled Chat

• If you would like to report a broken link, or any other type of error in any of our archived postings, please click on the following link:

REPORT Broken Links, Etc.

• If you would like to send a question to Tim's MAILBOX column, please click on the following link:

MAILBOX

• If you would like information about submissions to Tim's Befuddled Universe, please click on the following link:

Submissions

The trial of the Evoca Browser Mic was brief,  but sufficiently long to determine (a) it caused problems in the browsers of some readers, and (b) Befuddled readers had no interest in using such a device. So much for fancy new fangled stuff.

Updated 17/24 FEB 2008

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Submissions: The Spirit of Valentine's Day

Seeking submissions:
No specific submission deadline date

My  trusted and very dear friend Yasorg.
(I thought her photo would help get me in the mood. :)

Participants can submit at any time. Submissions deemed worthy will be displayed on Tim's Befuddled Universe.

Rules: Plan A

1. Submit a ``virtual" Valentine's Day card.
2. The virtual card will consist of two virtual pages; that is, an outside page and an inside page.
3. Each page should be submitted in a separate file, and should not exceed 1 megabyte in size. PDF, JPG, and text file formats will be accepted.
4. Quality graphics, photos, humor, poetry, etc. are encouraged.
5. Submissions should be emailed to Tim no later than midnight Pacific time USA on 31 JAN 2009.

Rules: Plan B

If you plan to submit under Plan B, please pre-register. You can pre-register by sending Tim an email, which explains your planned submission.

1. Any sort of art can be submitted for consideration (e.g., music, drawing, film, sculpture), except (a) the work cannot be a film longer than five minutes, (b) text longer than 2,000 words, (c) a comic longer than 8 frames, or (d) any other work deemed by the judges to be excessively large. (If you have questions, or concerns regarding this issue, please email Tim.) Live performance also could not be submitted; however, film of live performance could.
   You can request an exception to the rules, if it (a) creates a ``hardship" for your project, or (b) it would in some way put your project in jeopardy with the Judges. An example of the latter situation might be a film that was five minutes and 10 seconds long. Requests for exceptions will be seriously considered, but Tim's ruling on the request is final, and can not be appealed.
2. The work, or a facsimile (e.g., a photo) of the art, must already be on display on the internet where it can be easily viewed by the judge(s). 3-Dimensional works must be viewable from more than one angle. Music must be available as either a download or a full stream; song clips are disallowed.
3. Only one submission per submitter.
4. Submissions can be made by individuals or a small project team (e.g., 2–6).
5. The submission deadline is midnight on 31 JAN 2009 (Pacific Time, USA).
6. Submissions can be sent via email: tim@timnull.com. (If you wish a mailing address, and/or phone number, send your request via email.)
7. Send your name, address, email address, phone number, and an internet address where the submission can be viewed.
8. We are looking for artists who can make a big impact in a small space. (Musicians, however, shouldn't try to send abbreviated works. Use good judgment, folks.)
9. Submissions will be organized into logical groupings after the deadline, rather than ``hammering'' the submissions into some system of predetermined categories. If a category does not end up having any worthy submissions, then none will be mentioned in the 2009 Valentine's Day Award write up.  If  numerous submissions are received in a category, then more than one submission might be mentioned. (Remember, this is a befuddled universe!)
10. The decision of the judge(s) is final.
11. As always, rules are subject to change at anytime without notice, so check back here from time to time.

Note: If you, or your project team, plan to create a new work, please notify me in advance via email, and provide occasional updates. :)

Theme

• The theme is the world as it existed between 16 MAR 1935 through 3 SEP 1939. Focus on everyday life, and how the impending war impacted people's most fundamental efforts to work, play, love, etc. (Why those dates? On 16 MAR 1935 Hilter instituted compulsory military service in Germany, contrary to the Versailles Treaty. On 3 SEP 1939 the French and British declare war on Germany.)
• Points of view: Some obvious perspectives would be from the point of view of people from Britain, France, Germany, and the USA. But do not forget important perspectives such as Poland, Japan, Russia, etc. Or, non-nationalistic perspectives such as the Jewish perspective, or the communist/socialist perspective. And do not forget the pacifist and non-interventionist perspectives, either, when you consider your projects. Are you getting excited? I hope so!
  Think! An opportunity to learn history, and make great art at the same time. How cool is that?
  

Coffee and Cookies!

The idea for this Spirit of Valentine's Day submission originated from a discussion with my very good friend Yasorg (see tease).

Yasorg, like so many independent musicians, is new to making do it yourself videos (DIY); however, she did remarkably well in her first effort. In fact, I love the result.

Yasorg, on a trip to New York City, filmed herself** singing ``My Funny Valentine'' in a New York City hotel room (see video below).

For me, the simplicity and innocence of the video captures the nature of the woman*** singing the song (humorous, loyal, innocence lost), and the times when the song was written.

``My Funny Valentine'' was written by Rodgers and Hart for the 1937 musical Babes in Arms.

In 1937 the world had long lost its innocence, but world war was not yet declared.

I hope you enjoy Yasorg's video. And I hope you too find your muse. I look forward to your submissions!

— Tim

*Yes, this is a submission request for 2009.

**In the original version of this of this posting I reported that Yasorg ``convinced a friend to film her singing''. That was incorrect. Yasorg placed the camera on the hotel bed, and she filmed the video entirely by herself.

***In questions of love and friendship, one question is often raised, ``How well can one person know another?'' No matter how closely two people might be physically merged,  they each remain alone within their skin.

Given the distance in space and language, how well could I know Yasorg? I do not know the answer to that question, but our friendship has lasted through time and trouble. The latter information is really all I need to know, but, in addition, I know that Yasorg has an interest in philosophy and history. She is clever and perseverant. And I know, like me, she has secrets. (We do not share the same secrets. Shame!)

How long can either a love affair or friendship last? That is the question that will always beg an answer! My experience, as limited as it is, suggests one person can will the death of a friendship, or love affair, but two people can will it to survive.

Updated 3/4 FEB 2008
Updated 24 APR 2008
Updated 12 JAP 2009

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Biz Card: Stocker Null

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STOCKER NULL
AKA Tim Null

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"Suburban cornpone with relish"

My work is priceless.
My soul is for sale!

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Find me!

Search Tim's Befuddled Universe!

Search ``cornpone philosophy''.

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Copyrighted by me; that is, until Disney or Dylan steal it. :o)

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