Mr. Muddle's Befuddled Universe

NPR: This I Believe

Kim Phuc: The Long Road to Forgiveness

I was halfway out the door the other night. I was on my way to pick up Chinese for dinner. But just as I was putting my keys in my pocket I heard the telltale ding indicating I had received email. My curiosity got the best of me.

I had received an email from my brother telling me I had to listen to an NPR program. I did.

I think you will also want listen to Kim Phuc's story. [link]

Kim Foundation

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How the West was Won!

Historical Erudition:
The Plumber's Friend!

How was the West Won?

It's a Simple Story, Really.

Yesterday I attempted to write a terse essay on how the West was won. It seemed like a quick and easy writing project.

1. War with Mexico.
2. Slaughter of Buffalo.
3. Genocide of native people.
4. End of story.

Then I thought hmmm.... perhaps a few more details might add, you know, ``human interest''.

Murder Mystery

Later I wondered, ``What if I were writing this like a murder mystery? But then, when would the story begin"

Now things are getting interesting! Let me run you through it.

Ok, you have decided to write a murder mystery, but before you can start writing you have to figure out a whole bunch of stuff about the murder, right?

Among the things you would have to figure out would be who does the murder. Ok, you decide Mr. Brooks is going to kill Mrs. Brooks. Now you will have to figure out when and why Mr. Brooks decides to commit the murder (motivation). How Mr. Brooks commits the murder (method). And when Mr. Brooks commits the murder (opportunity).

It was like any other morning. Mr. and Mrs. Brooks were having breakfast. She on her side of the nook. He on his.

Mrs. Brooks blew her nose. She made a honking, wheezing  sound like a gander shot with an arrow.

Mr. Brooks crumpled his newspaper into his lap. He could not concentrate, when Mrs. Brooks wheezed.

Mr. Brooks was about to order Mrs. Brooks to stop wheezing, when he saw the little glisten of snot hanging from her nose. ``Oh, my dear God," Mr. Brooks thought to himself.

Mrs. Brooks smiled. A sliver of bacon was stuck between two of her front teeth.

``Oh, my dear God," Mr. Brooks thought to himself.

Mrs. Brooks took a sip of tea. The string of snot fell from her nose into the cup of tea.

``Oh, my dear God,'' Mr. Brooks thought, ``I cannot bear this woman one moment longer."

In the above paragraphs we see Mr. Brooks coming to the conclusion he is living in a dilemma in need of a solution. He realizes he cannot live with Mrs. Brooks one moment longer!

The Epiphany

Now let us get back to our original story, How was the West won?

I asked myself, ``At what point did the newcomers look at the natives, and think to themselves, `I cannot bear to live with you one moment longer!'"

I concluded the answer was The French and Indian War (1754–1763). Now The French and Indian War is a misnamed war if there ever was a misnamed war. In my never humble opinion, it should have been called The French and British Bugger The Colonies War. In a nutshell, the French and British brought The Seven Years War to the New World, and like fools the colonists and native peoples picked sides and fought against each other. (Perhaps history would have worked out better if they had joined forces and slaughtered the French and British soldiers as they disembarked off their ships.)

When The French and Indian War was over, the die was cast. It was almost as if our ancestors were in a science experiment where students pour two beakers of chemicals together. The chemical reactions are ruled by laws of nature, and they cannot be stopped, until they run their own course. When the The French and Indian War ended, it seemed like the acid of hate was released and there would be no end until the ``chemical reaction" was complete.

(Please, do not get the impression I am a pessimist; however accurate that impression might be!)

Motivation

Why was I motivated to figure out how the West was won?

• In my recent Chewy Choice Award write up I spent a great deal of time talking about my family and their migration from Western Pennsylvania to Kansas. In this discussion of my family's personal history I ignored the rich historical panorama or events taking place in the background.

• In the unpublished portion of my interview with Janel Munoa, Janel and I discussed how the West was really ``won''; that is, the resettlement of the portion of North America commonly referred to as the United States of America. (I do not believe we ever mentioned the movie, How the West was Won.)

Long, long, ago, in a land not so far away...

Hey, boys and girls, I did manage to get from 1754 to 1810 in my story about how the West was won. And here I thought I could whip off this little tale in a couple hours. My mistake.

Well, perhaps I will get back to the story someday. Until then, there are plenty of John Wayne movies you can watch.

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Coffee is Magic by Namoli Brennet

Guest Essay by Namoli Brennet

Photo credit: Kathleen Drier

Future Chewy Choice Award Winner

Planning for the Future

So there I was on the very, very verge of commencing to start planning to schedule some thought about when I might begin to start organizing my plans for the embarkation of the task of scheduling my planning, when suddenly I was struck by inspiration! I could slough off this task until another day.

While I am Sloughing Off

While I am sloughing off, all you bright, industrious, and befuddled readers out in etherland can enjoy an essay on coffee by Namoli Brennet. (It was originally published in Namoli's Myspace blog. It is republished with permission. © 2008 Namoli Brennet, All rights reserved.)

Hazelnut? God Save Us!

One major caveat! The opinions expressed by the guest essayist are her own, and are not fully endorsed by the staff of Tim's Befuddled Universe. Our official policy is that coffee should be served hot and black, just as God intended.

If Namoli Brennet wasn't the third Chewy Choice Lifetime Achievement Award winner, we might not overlook the hazelnut transgression, but under the circumstances our huge staff is in a forgiving mood. (The official Chewy Choice Award announcement will be made very soon. Hold your breath!)

Now I step aside, and the Namoli Brennet essay will quickly commence to begin. Count, three, two, one, ...

— Tim

Coffee is Magic

Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee. COFFEE. CofFEE! I've had a cup or two today. Those of you who have been avid readers of my blog might be aware of the fact that I have a somewhat capricious relationship with the dark mistress also known as coffee. Like the demon Legion, she goes by many names, be it espresso, latte, Americano or half-caf-skinny-breve-with-a-shot-of-hazelnut. Her dark, bittersweet siren song calls me every now and then, usually when things are going exceptionally well. As someone who is prone to anxiety and digestive upset, I usually avoid coffee due to it's effect on me, which is surprisingly similar to a panic attack, only tastier.

Lately I have been feeling awfully darned good, and I thought to myself, "What better way to celebrate than with a delicious cup of coffee?". I thought about this for days in advance, even casually dropping hints to those around me so that it might appear to be an idea I was "just throwing around." In fact, it was something I had been quietly calculating for quite some time, but I wanted very badly to appear as if it was "no big deal." In fact, it was a "very big deal."

So last week, on a Friday morning like any other, I casually sauntered into the kitchen, savoring the sweet chocolatey aroma and the asthmatic sounds of the coffee maker burping out the last of it's acerbic reward. We're still talking about coffee here, I'm just trying to be a little poetic. After 3 sips, I felt a wave of gentle optimism overtake me. Spurred on by a desire to share this goodness, I began rapidly firing out emails. I'm embarassed to say that many of them contained long, feverish paragraphs bursting with what seemed to be fresh insights and a new lease on life. I have no doubt that if email had a smell, these would have smelled like french roast. I further humiliated myself by indulging in a little EMAIL SHOUTING, which is to say yes, I overused capital letters in order to try and communicate a higher level of excitement. I AM NOT PROUD OF THIS.

I should also mention that this all took place in Western Pennsylvania, as I had traveled there to play a few shows. One was at the newly renovated Latonia Theater in Oil City, PA. The day before my show, I arrived there fully caffeinated to have a look at the theater, which had been painted, carpeted and truly transformed. One of the owners of the theater offered to give me tour, which I quickly took her up on. The ceiling houses an 800-bulb chandelier and a gorgeous "whisper-dome" with amazing acoustic properties. She mentioned that there was actually access to the dome from behind in order to change the light bulbs, and I said that I would love to see that. She asked if I were afraid of heights, since it required climbing a couple of 20-ft ladders and scooting around some pretty precarious areas. "Right now", I answered honestly, "I'm not afraid of anything." Coffee is Magic.

There is the very real possibility I may be turning into some kind of holistic junkie. The other night while "partying" I had some coffee, just one innocent cup to accompany a delicious spelt cookie; however, when I finally tried to fall asleep, I found myself jittery, agitated and unable to relax. In order to counteract this, I had some sleepytime tea with Valerian, to help me "come down." And so begins the cycle of addiction, although one would be hard pressed to overdose on herbal tea.

For the time being I'm still enjoying the fun feeling of "needing" my morning coffee and "having a reason" to "get out of bed". I also enjoy the other benefits which include an inexplicable optimism, a calm sense of invincibility and the suspicion that I possess some kind of super powers. I may or may not get a lot more done on coffee, but I certainly have the appearance of being very, very busy. Stuff gets moved around. Piles get sorted. Emails get sent. EXCITEMENT IS SHARED. I was so excited just now that I nearly typed "excrement" instead of "excitement". For those of you on the receiving end of those emails, it's probably a pretty negligible difference.

You'll take my coffee away when you can pry it away from my warm, trembling fingers. I wouldn't try it though, if I were you. A word or two to the wise: Super powers. Super powers, my friends. Just pass me the half and half and go in peace.

—€” Namoli Brennet
11 FEB 2008
© 2008 All rights reserved.

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MEET UP: Tim on Tim Now that's spaghetti with meatballs!

Hi, my name is Tim. (I'll forgo mentioning my last name, as it means nothing to most people.)

Did you notice that the blog title has changed, and that my name is now in the title? (Formerly this blog was titled this befuddled universe rather than Tim's Befuddled Universe.)

Now that my name is in the title, I feel irresistibly compelled to talk about myself.

I will start with lies that can be safely told. (Let truth fall and lie where it lands.)

• Tim's Befuddled Universe is inspired by the life of Tim.

• Tim is not a real person.

• I prefer to believe that I tell the truth, as I imagine it.

• I am what I am, and I am "mostly harmless" (thank you Douglas Adams).

• It has been said that the road to Hell was paved with good intentions, and that I pave a little more road every day.

• On the other hand, I live in the moment, and only procrastinate one day at a time.

• On the plus side, Mrs. Muddle and I have been married for 38 years, which is something of a feat, because Mrs. Muddle claims she's only forty.

• I am as crazy as two loons trying to mate under a March moon. For one thing, I hear the whispers of imaginary rumors about myself. Two examples, I am paranoid (but then, who isn't?), and I dream about Yasorg at night, (but then, who doesn't?)

• I am a retired Technical Editor. For a few years I have been writing about music and stuff on my website to avoid housework. (And in the summer of 2006, I even had a podcast!) It was a sweet gig!

• Unfortunately I got busted by the Dust Bunny Patrol, and I had to go on an extended hiatus. (Housecleaning remains in my daily schedule. — Whaaa-Whooo!!!!)

• Now I am back working my website. But only in a manner of speaking. (I will explain by example. Take milk at the grocery. Buy two milks cartons, get one free. The third milk spoils before you finish drinking it up, and the spoiled milk gives you a tummy ache. That basically describes the quality of service I will be offering on my website. Not such a dishonest deal, all things considered. That is, my new publication motto is: Whatever, whenever. As in, I will publish whatever I fancy, whenever it suits me.)

Muck Buckets!!! Here I go again!

Well, Yogi said, "....When there's a fork in the road, take it!''

However, there will be some changes.

1. No CD reviews!!! In fact, there won't be any formal reviews of any kind. That doesn't mean I am not opinionated. For example, I think  Elizabeth Reaser is the sexiest actress, since Kyra Sedgwick had her out of bus experience in Heart and Soul. And Reaser is from Michigan to boot! Aint that sweet! (If you don't remember Elizabeth Reaser, she was the Jane Doe on Grey's Anatomy.)
2. My publication schedule will be very irregular. Or, as I stated above, I will publish whatever I fancy, whenever it suits me.
3. I have an online serial novel* in the works. One thing I will be doing with this blog is informing you of my progress with my online serial novel.  (How my writing is going. When will the beta start. Etc and so forth.)
   *[17 JAN Update] Surprise! Hey, I came up with a novel idea, boys and girls! I'm not doing a novel! Cool, hey? Instead I am gonna do an online episodic fictional series with frequent installments... whew, take breath! Why do something simple and comprehendible, when I can do something that will really rattle your encephala.
   (Here is a fellow who sets out to explain the difference between serial and episodic fiction; instead he provides an example of lazy exposition. But, bless the lord, he accomplished something!)
4. There may be submissions of some sort in the distant future in a galaxy far, far away (but they won't be CD submissions, thank whomever !!!). If you are looking to make a submission of some sort, don't hold your breath, but do watch the blog for announcements.
5. No promises. Promises lead to broken promises. Broken promises lead to hurt feelings. Hurt feelings lead to bad blood. If I forget, and I promise you something, remind me, ``No promises!''

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In order to put this life of self-hate and loathing behind me, I plan on writing an online serial novel full of characters filled with self-hate and loathing; a romantic comedy, of course. :o)

I am a humorist,
because comedians are expected to be funny.

  — Stocker Null 

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Some lyrics that might explain a little bit about Tim.

"The secret to a secret is to never tell." —Patrik Tanner
  (from "Gone #3")

"They say you gotta dream to make it real." —Jon James
  (from "(So Far) Off Broadway'')

"...now it's coming down to the wire, wondering where your epiphany went." —Tina Schlieske
  (from "Devotional Breakdown'')

"...so much past inside my present." —Feist   (from "Past in Present")

"...you cry until you laugh"  —Regina Spektor
  (from "On The Radio")

"...cozy and cold" —Feist   (from "1234")

"...remember the good things..."  —This Ember Season
  (from "I'll Be Standing By")

"I got a bird that whistles. I got a bird that sings."
  (from "Corrine, Corrina")

"One day you're going to find you're ok."  —Mia Dyson
  (from "Choose")

"What I know I know it well." —Tina Schlieske
  (from "Hardly Tell")

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Disclaimer:

The people, places, events, and loony ideas discussed in this weblog frequent my universe. They may not frequent yours.

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Updated 17/18/21 OCT 2007
17 JAN 2008
10 FEB 2008

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For more information about Tim, see the ABOUT section of this blog.

 

Response to a Friend by Dawn Ward

GUEST BLOGGER: DAWN WARD*

Response to a Friend
by
Dawn Ward

Thank you, my friend, for entrusting me with your life query. I share my response with the hope that something in it may assist someone else who might read it.

(excuse the lack of capitalization. this is my informal/message writing style.)

and what to do about life?... instead of sending jakob to college (which would have been a waste of money because although he was brilliant his grades sucked) we chose to invest in his love of music - his recording studio. he was self-taught, 4-5 years later still struggles with managing his money but is, at least, satisfied in what he's doing and has a world of possibility before him. we were able to at least encourage him in his passion so that he wouldn't be enslaved to a 9-5 work-in-the-box job.

i had a degree in graphics, pursued it with some relish for a few years, became quickly disenchanted thereafter but managed to continue making money with it by working for myself - after 5 years of working in agencies. ten years later i was just done with the whole damn business. that's when i opened the shop. during the last six years of freelancing however i had re-discovered music and that definitely helped me to tolerate the drudgery of the time i had left with graphics/advertising.

a few good business decisions (like buying the building where i have the shop, and now live - for a song because it was rundown and abandoned when i bought it), hard work (mental, physical, and emotional), keeping at it long after i'd had enough of it, and realizing (perhaps more importantly than anything else) that debt = slavery (and it took 25 years to learn that lesson and eliminate it) has finally brought us to a place where i can now fully pursue my passion...music.

the journey was necessary though to get me to this point...giving me life wisdom/skills to more fully pursue and express my passion (including utilizing those graphic/advertising/marketing skills to further it). although i might not want to do it all again (no, really...i WOULDN'T want to do it all again)...i don't regret any of it.

i could have used/embraced the wisdom of a mentor - we all could. they say when the student is ready the teacher will come. was i not ready?! perhaps i was just not listening - too stubborn. but i like where i am right now. as a matter of fact, i LOVE where i am right now. so it's ok. i have to figure i'd have found and connected with my passion one way or another providing i was willing to show up. you've GOT to be willing to show up. there's a thousand paths to the same destination, and you do make choices to make it easier or more difficult.

and, yes, it IS about choices - life choices (even things like what you put into your body, what you allow into your head [what books/newspapers you read, what television programs you watch, music you listen to...); how/what you choose will determine the meandering the path will take.

trusting life to take you where you need to go is helpful (that requires putting the ego in the back seat sometimes, and that can be difficult). understand that any one action can affect the direction of your life (ie. the butterfly effect but i also like to think in terms of it as, 'making a call'. you've got to be willing to make a/the call. [in one case, this was literally...i made a phone call and that started a whole chain of events that got me to where i'm sitting today...a huge change in my life 6 months later! all because of one phone call!])

so...i believe that:

1. we can't know how we're going to get from A to Z but with right/good intent, life will eventually connect us to our passion...and each of the steps in between will offer us a seed of wisdom to make the connection/expression of our passion richer.

2. we can choose a path from A to B but even then we can't tell it which way it should go - whether it will be straight or meander, difficult or easy.

3. we can choose to chart a different course towards C even when we're still somewhere between A and B but again can't control the direction of that path (it's a constant task to remind ourselves to trust life to get us there).

4. you gotta show up, be ready to do the dirty work, the things that your ego hates to do (washing dishes, waking up to the alarm clock day after day, showing up on time...are some light examples). you just do it. you're building integrity, strength; and you can always feel good that you've at least done that much of it after the day's over. there's a satisfaction in even simple and small accomplishments. life may still seem/feel like it sucks but the feeling of accomplishment never does, and can help get you through the 'dark nights of the soul' - the beautiful thread of accomplishments can act as a lifeline of diversion during difficult times.

5. allow yourself small indulgences but...moderation in everything. particularly debt. i'll repeat...debt = slavery. as long as you owe the system your ass is theirs. keep yourself free of those shackles, my friend, because they will wear a man down 'til his spark of passion dies and he's nothing but a battery for the machine (seen the matrix, right? sci fi? that movie was right on.).

6. never allow any voice to steer you away from your passion no matter how "frivolous". i've used this example before but if your thread of genius is baking cookies (and you'll likely discover many threads of genius during your lifetime) pursue it far above the din of the criticism of the masses, society, your peers, friends, family. their criticism is only their regret that they've allowed someone else to squash theirs. be a shining example of life pursued in expression of your personal genius.

7. and let's see...7...number of change. you said, "I love art, music, poetry, and history. I would like nothing more than to indulge myself in studying those things, but then I have this feeling that I will regret it later in life. I would like to be an artist, but I have no idea where I would start in the world, and I'm afraid of that."

a. follow your passion, focusing on now. if you follow your passion, life will lead you to doors, will open doors. follow your love of art, music, poetry and history by choosing an area of study that will indulge as many of them as possible. and study the others as electives. if you choose with integrity, you will find there are more regrets in 'not having done' than 'in what you did'.

b. "the only thing to fear is fear itself." fear is illusory. if you focus on your fear of something very intently, following the feeling to its end, you will find that it leads to nothing. always. take a deep breath and forge onwards. it is only through facing our fears that they will fall aside, granting us access to deeper and fuller realizations of the power of who we are - a direct expression of the field of creation that permeates - that is - everything. we can only be separated from it through our own thoughts/delusions/illusions.

brave warrior, rise, become a beacon of light in a world that so desperately needs it. live your life so that its light casts far for the countless who are looking for it. a tall order, my friend, but you already have everything within your self that you need to accomplish it. one of the biggest challenges is removing the ego obstacles/illusions that blind you (all of us) from that fact. call on me when you need me.

;d

*© 2007 Dawn Ward. All rights reserved.

A Personal Note from Tim

From time to time this befuddled universe will publish Guest Commentaries. Today the first commentary is being published,  Response to a Friend by Dawn Ward.

Friendship

Dawn Ward is a very good friend of mine who I happened to ``meet'' on Myspace.

Dawn is still just a young girl from Ohio, and I am an old has-never-been from Michigan, so what could we possibly have in common? Well, for one thing, if you know me well, you can tell from the photo on the left that Dawn and I are cut from the same cloth. (The photo was taken in Ohio in the summer of 1979.)

If you have no money, be polite (Danish proverb)

But the above commentary was not chosen because Dawn Ward is a personal friend.  Dawn Ward's Response to a Friend is as good as any of the advice to young speeches and commentaries, as I have ever heard or read. These speeches and commentaries tend to appear whenever someone, or some group of people, make a transition in life. I would go so far as to say it may very well be the best of genre, because Dawn makes all the essential points, and does it in quick order, so the grads can toss their hats, everyone can then hug, take photos, and then hustle their pretty butts on over to the refreshment table. How could anyone top that?

Just one more thing

With Father's Day coming up, I am reminded of one of the things my father would say (see photo above).

Dad oftentimes said, ``People frequently say, `Tom, you talk like a Democrat, but you live like a Republican'.''

Dad had many faults, but at his best, he was a good teacher.

``Talk like a Democrat, but live like a Republican.''

— TWNull

This simple statement summarizes the Midwestern philosophy of combining economic conservatism with the ideals of the Social Progressives. Historically Midwesterners have tended to be penny-pinchers, because they do not want to get caught out in the cold, when the snow comes. But they tend to emphasize with the down and outs, because they know what it feels like to get caught out in the cold, when the snow comes.

Did you get a sense of that Midwestern philosophy, when you read Dawn Ward's commentary? I did. Did you get a little homesick? I did. (I will return to the Midwest, when the snow problem is ``fixed''; which shouldn't take long now.)

Thanks to All!

I would like to thank everyone who stopped by to read Dawn Ward's commentary. And, of course, I thank Dawn for being willing to share her thoughts with us. She originally published her commentary in one of her weblogs on Myspace, and she was gracious enough to allow this befuddled universe to republish it.*

— Tim Null

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