GUEST BLOGGER: DAWN WARD*
Response to a Friend
by
Dawn Ward
Thank you, my friend, for entrusting me with your life query. I share my
response with the hope that something in it may assist someone else who
might read it.
(excuse the lack of capitalization. this is my informal/message writing
style.)
and what to do about life?... instead of sending jakob to college (which
would have been a waste of money because although he was brilliant his
grades sucked) we chose to invest in his love of music - his recording
studio. he was self-taught, 4-5 years later still struggles with managing
his money but is, at least, satisfied in what he's doing and has a world of
possibility before him. we were able to at least encourage him in his
passion so that he wouldn't be enslaved to a 9-5 work-in-the-box job.
i had a degree in graphics, pursued it with some relish for a few years,
became quickly disenchanted thereafter but managed to continue making money
with it by working for myself - after 5 years of working in agencies. ten
years later i was just done with the whole damn business. that's when i
opened the shop. during the last six years of freelancing however i had
re-discovered music and that definitely helped me to tolerate the drudgery
of the time i had left with graphics/advertising.
a few good business decisions (like buying the building where i have the
shop, and now live - for a song because it was rundown and abandoned when i
bought it), hard work (mental, physical, and emotional), keeping at it long
after i'd had enough of it, and realizing (perhaps more importantly than
anything else) that debt = slavery (and it took 25 years to learn that
lesson and eliminate it) has finally brought us to a place where i can now
fully pursue my passion...music.
the journey was necessary though to get me to this point...giving me life
wisdom/skills to more fully pursue and express my passion (including
utilizing those graphic/advertising/marketing skills to further it).
although i might not want to do it all again (no, really...i WOULDN'T want
to do it all again)...i don't regret any of it.
i could have used/embraced the wisdom of a mentor - we all could. they say
when the student is ready the teacher will come. was i not ready?! perhaps i
was just not listening - too stubborn. but i like where i am right now. as a
matter of fact, i LOVE where i am right now. so it's ok. i have to figure
i'd have found and connected with my passion one way or another providing i
was willing to show up. you've GOT to be willing to show up. there's a
thousand paths to the same destination, and you do make choices to make it
easier or more difficult.
and, yes, it IS about choices - life choices (even things like what you put
into your body, what you allow into your head [what books/newspapers you
read, what television programs you watch, music you listen to...); how/what
you choose will determine the meandering the path will take.
trusting life to take you where you need to go is helpful (that requires
putting the ego in the back seat sometimes, and that can be difficult).
understand that any one action can affect the direction of your life (ie.
the butterfly effect but i also like to think in terms of it as, 'making a
call'. you've got to be willing to make a/the call. [in one case, this was
literally...i made a phone call and that started a whole chain of events
that got me to where i'm sitting today...a huge change in my life 6 months
later! all because of one phone call!])
so...i believe that:
1. we can't know how we're going to get from A to Z but with right/good
intent, life will eventually connect us to our passion...and each of the
steps in between will offer us a seed of wisdom to make the
connection/expression of our passion richer.
2. we can choose a path from A to B but even then we can't tell it which way
it should go - whether it will be straight or meander, difficult or easy.
3. we can choose to chart a different course towards C even when we're still
somewhere between A and B but again can't control the direction of that path
(it's a constant task to remind ourselves to trust life to get us there).
4. you gotta show up, be ready to do the dirty work, the things that your
ego hates to do (washing dishes, waking up to the alarm clock day after day,
showing up on time...are some light examples). you just do it. you're
building integrity, strength; and you can always feel good that you've at
least done that much of it after the day's over. there's a satisfaction in
even simple and small accomplishments. life may still seem/feel like it
sucks but the feeling of accomplishment never does, and can help get you
through the 'dark nights of the soul' - the beautiful thread of
accomplishments can act as a lifeline of diversion during difficult times.
5. allow yourself small indulgences but...moderation in everything.
particularly debt. i'll repeat...debt = slavery. as long as you owe the
system your ass is theirs. keep yourself free of those shackles, my friend,
because they will wear a man down 'til his spark of passion dies and he's
nothing but a battery for the machine (seen the matrix, right? sci fi? that
movie was right on.).
6. never allow any voice to steer you away from your passion no matter how
"frivolous". i've used this example before but if your thread of genius is
baking cookies (and you'll likely discover many threads of genius during
your lifetime) pursue it far above the din of the criticism of the masses,
society, your peers, friends, family. their criticism is only their regret
that they've allowed someone else to squash theirs. be a shining example of
life pursued in expression of your personal genius.
7. and let's see...7...number of change. you said, "I love art, music,
poetry, and history. I would like nothing more than to indulge myself in
studying those things, but then I have this feeling that I will regret it
later in life. I would like to be an artist, but I have no idea where I
would start in the world, and I'm afraid of that."
a. follow your passion, focusing on now. if you follow your passion, life
will lead you to doors, will open doors. follow your love of art, music,
poetry and history by choosing an area of study that will indulge as many of
them as possible. and study the others as electives. if you choose with
integrity, you will find there are more regrets in 'not having done' than
'in what you did'.
b. "the only thing to fear is fear itself." fear is illusory. if you focus
on your fear of something very intently, following the feeling to its end,
you will find that it leads to nothing. always. take a deep breath and forge
onwards. it is only through facing our fears that they will fall aside,
granting us access to deeper and fuller realizations of the power of who we
are - a direct expression of the field of creation that permeates - that is
- everything. we can only be separated from it through our own
thoughts/delusions/illusions.
brave warrior, rise, become a beacon of light in a world that so desperately
needs it. live your life so that its light casts far for the countless who
are looking for it. a tall order, my friend, but you already have everything
within your self that you need to accomplish it. one of the biggest
challenges is removing the ego obstacles/illusions that blind you (all of
us) from that fact. call on me when you need me.
;d
*© 2007 Dawn Ward. All rights reserved.
A Personal Note from Tim
From time to time this befuddled universe will publish Guest Commentaries. Today the first commentary is being published, Response to a Friend by Dawn Ward.
Friendship
Dawn Ward is a very good friend of mine who I happened to ``meet'' on Myspace.
Dawn is still just a young girl from Ohio, and I am an old has-never-been from Michigan, so what could we possibly have in common? Well, for one thing, if you know me well, you can tell from the photo on the left that Dawn and I are cut from the same cloth. (The photo was taken in Ohio in the summer of 1979.)
If you have no money, be polite (Danish proverb)
But the above commentary was not chosen because Dawn Ward is a personal friend. Dawn Ward's Response to a Friend is as good as any of the advice to young speeches and commentaries, as I have ever heard or read. These speeches and commentaries tend to appear whenever someone, or some group of people, make a transition in life. I would go so far as to say it may very well be the best of genre, because Dawn makes all the essential points, and does it in quick order, so the grads can toss their hats, everyone can then hug, take photos, and then hustle their pretty butts on over to the refreshment table. How could anyone top that?
Just one more thing
With Father's Day coming up, I am reminded of one of the things my father would say (see photo above).
Dad oftentimes said, ``People frequently say, `Tom, you talk like a Democrat, but you live like a Republican'.''
Dad had many faults, but at his best, he was a good teacher.
``Talk like a Democrat, but live like a Republican.''
— TWNull
This simple statement summarizes the Midwestern philosophy of combining economic conservatism with the ideals of the Social Progressives. Historically Midwesterners have tended to be penny-pinchers, because they do not want to get caught out in the cold, when the snow comes. But they tend to emphasize with the down and outs, because they know what it feels like to get caught out in the cold, when the snow comes.
Did you get a sense of that Midwestern philosophy, when you read Dawn Ward's commentary? I did. Did you get a little homesick? I did. (I will return to the Midwest, when the snow problem is ``fixed''; which shouldn't take long now.)
Thanks to All!
I would like to thank everyone who stopped by to read Dawn Ward's commentary. And, of course, I thank Dawn for being willing to share her thoughts with us. She originally published her commentary in one of her weblogs on Myspace, and she was gracious enough to allow this befuddled universe to republish it.*
— Tim Null
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