Mr. Muddle's Befuddled Universe

Home iAvatar Entertainment System anounced by Appel Computers

Job & Cameroon demo Appel iAvatar

I want Avatar at Home!

Recently I was invited by my good friend Karen Quah to come over anytime to watch soccer on TV at her house. But since she lives in Australia, and I live in California, anytime may not be anytime soon.

This got me thinking: What if we had iAvatars as part of our home entertainment systems? Wouldn't that be totally unbelievable? The more I thought about it, the more excited I got!

The man for the job: Steve Jobs!

Wouldn't it be cool, if we had iAvatars to go with our iPods and our iPhones and our iPads?

Do you know Steve Jobs iPhone number? I'd like to ring him right up, and get him on the job! That's for sure.

I can't wait until Apple comes out with an iAvatar. Think of the possibilities!

Nookie

Of course, the first thing I thought about was sex. Kiss those little blue pills goodbye, brother! ``Parts is parts" never more! The next time she says, ``Fill 'er up," she won't be at the gas station!

TV

Of course, television is how we got into this conversation. Karen Quah invited me over to her house in Australia to watch soccer.

Imagine the possibilities. Not only could you watch any TV show, but you could watch any TV set anywhere in the world. Just hop into your Avatar, and go, baby, go!

Challenge Matches

We could even get the athletes themselves involved in the action. It'd be too late for a Joe Louis vs Muhammad Ali fight, but I'd be up for a Mary Joe Fernández vs Maria Sharapova tennis match. (And after the match, there could be an auction for for Sunday brunch with the winner — just for charity — all in good clean fun!)

Then there's the Telephone!

Ma Bell long dreamed of a workable ``picture phone" but AT&T's every attempt failed.Video conferencing and chatting by computer has proven to be more successful. And now Skype is going to be added to HD TVs.

But even with these latest technological advances, you still can't reach out touch someone. If we had an iAvatar, we could truly touch each other! Just think, if your spouse was away on a business trip, he or she could reach out by phone, and give you a touch of human kindness. (Of course, the iAvatar would also transform the meaning for the expression, ``The long arm of the law.")

iAvatar Features

At first I thought the iAvatar would finally stop people from answering their phone in the bathroom, then I realized that people would just adjust the settings, so that they always ``appeared" to be in their office hard at work, whenever the boss stopped by. This got me thinking about what features an iAvatar should have. I came up with a short list.

Boxes. The iAvatar would need a way of organizing people. You'd need to be able to limit who gets access to private places like your office and home. After all, you wouldn't want junk call idiots sitting down at your dinner table and staying for dessert! I call this the ``Boxes" feature where you would organize people by category, and then establish their individual settings. You then could establish a general setting for anyone not in one of your existing Boxes.

Friends. Of course, iAvatar will have to work with Facebook, Myspace, and all the other major social networks, so friends can hump, I mean, frolic along with each other.

The Receptionist. Now this is one of the best features of an iAvatar. Instead of choosing between ringtones, you get to choose between receptionists. And, if you want, you can have the receptionist just handle all your business, and you can take the day off. The receptionist will do a better job anyway, so what the hell! Eat up, and get fat!

Mute. Your mother-in-law is talking during Fringe, no problem. Just mute her.

Cloak. Dressed in your underwear, when your buds stop by unannounced, no problem, just press the ``Cloak" button, and they won't see you.

Shields. Get in a stupid argument after the big game, and your brother is about to smack you, don't worry. Press the ``Shields Up" button, and nothing will hurt you.

Auto. Hey, you're in a meeting, but you want to take a nap, press the ``Auto" button, and your iAvatar will cover for you while you sleep away.

Imagine. He wants to do the same old thing, and you'd rather do your nails, then you both can spend time in parallel universes together. It's a best of both worlds situation.

Summation

So, Steve Jobs and James Cameron, it's up to you guys. I've done my part. I can't wait any longer! I want, no. I demand my iAvatar now!

Official Avatar movie trailer

Official Avatar Movie

Film Focus: Movie Geeks United

Great Movie Podcast & Blog

Movie Geeks United

All the movie geeks know that you can't beat the Movie Geeks United podcast for informative entertainment about the film industry. The show is the most popular podcast about movies on the internet and on iTunes. You can find guest and scheduling information at the show's website: moviegeeksunited.net. You can subscribe to the show on iTunes, but I prefer listening to the show at blogtalkradio.

Shows initially air on Sundays and Wednesdays, but an archive of past shows can be found here: archive. (Because the shows are podcasts, you can listen to all the shows at your own convenience; ain't life just dandy?)

Movie Geeks United is co-hosted by Jamey DuVall, Jerry Dennis and Chris Whetton.

Jerry Dennis (see photo) and I have a mutual cyber-friend, and I was fortunate enough to receive a cyber-introduction awhile back. Since then I have been blessed with the opportunity to follow Jerry Dennis on Twitter. Jerry has a lot to offer a novice such as myself. I'm grateful for Jerry's patience and cooperation. He's a not only smart, but really helpful; a rare combination. (Thanks, Jerry!!!)

Example

This morning I woke up around 4am with a migraine. I needed to sit up to take the weight off my neck, but I wanted something to distract me from the pain. I thought, I'll listen to the Movie Geeks, they're always on call, whenever a fellow is in need! :-)

This morning I listened to an episode of the Movie Geeks United that featured Matthew Broderick. I enjoyed the episode so much, I decided to embed the player for the episode in this very write-up, so you too can conveniently listen to it, and you don't even have to have a migraine as the price of admission (aren't I nice?).

Enjoy!

Matthew Broderick

Comic Phil Mazo

Comedian Phil Mazo: ``Seemingly pure, purely unseemly."

Skinny-Blue Humor

I just hooked up with comedian Phil Mazo on Twitter. I was new to Phil's comedy, so I immediately ran over to YouTube to watch his videos. I about spit a gut from laughter. If you're not familiar with Phil Mazo's humor, and you enjoy humor a little blue, then I think you'll enjoy Phil Mazo's stand up comedy. I've included a couple of his video's here for your enjoyment.

Phil Mazo in Madison, WI (the first 6.5 of 30 mins)

DCT Comedy: Phil Mazo ``PERVERT"

High Hopes trailer

The Mighty Celt: Film Trailer

The Mighty Celt: Independent Film

The Mighty Celt looks like a good film based on the trailer and film clips. You can find out more about it here.

The Mighty Celt (Official Trailer)

Gillian Anderson in Mighty Celt — Part One

One Hour Fantasy Girl: Trailer

One Hour Fantasy Girl: Independent Film

ONE HOUR FANTASY GIRL (2009) Official Trailer

ONE HOUR FANTASY GIRL (2009)
Interview with Joe Luckay

John Hughes, Who Captured the Lives of Teenagers in the 1980s, Dies at 59 - Obituary (Obit) - NYTimes.com

LOS ANGELES — John Hughes, the once-prolific filmmaker whose sweet and sassy comedies like “Sixteen Candles” and “The Breakfast Club” plumbed the lives of teenagers in the 1980s, died Thursday on a morning walk while visiting Manhattan. He was 59.

The cause was a heart attack, according to a statement from the publicists Paul Bloch and Michelle Bega.

Enlarge This Image

Associated Press

The director John Hughes in 1984. More Photos »

via www.nytimes.com

It gives me pause now that so many people younger than I am are dying. Do you remember the old TV show The Greatest American Hero? Well, in that show the Robert Culp character would start each day by reading the obits to "keep score". After all the pins that have been knocked down in the last several weeks, I feel like I'm gonna have to start my day with a little score keeping myself.

Film: War, Inc. Trailer

John Cusack looking good!
War, Inc. trailer is a blast!

2 JUN 2008 Update: War, Inc. opened to limited released in the US. Reportedly this was due to poor critical reception. It is worth noting that in those theaters where War, Inc. did appear, Wikipedia reports War, Inc. ``was second in largest per theatre gross behind Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull".

Now the good news:
War Inc. will be released to DVD and Blu-ray on 1 JUL 2008.

Fun having John & Joan Cusack together!!!

As a general rule, I love John Cusack films, but it seems they are usually few and far between. After the marvelous Martian Child, I was expecting to wait a good long while before the next John Cusack film. But no, I luck out! Along comes War, Inc (expected release 23 May 2008).

Have a look at the trailer below. It looks like a kick!

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How the West was Won!

Historical Erudition:
The Plumber's Friend!

How was the West Won?

It's a Simple Story, Really.

Yesterday I attempted to write a terse essay on how the West was won. It seemed like a quick and easy writing project.

1. War with Mexico.
2. Slaughter of Buffalo.
3. Genocide of native people.
4. End of story.

Then I thought hmmm.... perhaps a few more details might add, you know, ``human interest''.

Murder Mystery

Later I wondered, ``What if I were writing this like a murder mystery? But then, when would the story begin"

Now things are getting interesting! Let me run you through it.

Ok, you have decided to write a murder mystery, but before you can start writing you have to figure out a whole bunch of stuff about the murder, right?

Among the things you would have to figure out would be who does the murder. Ok, you decide Mr. Brooks is going to kill Mrs. Brooks. Now you will have to figure out when and why Mr. Brooks decides to commit the murder (motivation). How Mr. Brooks commits the murder (method). And when Mr. Brooks commits the murder (opportunity).

It was like any other morning. Mr. and Mrs. Brooks were having breakfast. She on her side of the nook. He on his.

Mrs. Brooks blew her nose. She made a honking, wheezing  sound like a gander shot with an arrow.

Mr. Brooks crumpled his newspaper into his lap. He could not concentrate, when Mrs. Brooks wheezed.

Mr. Brooks was about to order Mrs. Brooks to stop wheezing, when he saw the little glisten of snot hanging from her nose. ``Oh, my dear God," Mr. Brooks thought to himself.

Mrs. Brooks smiled. A sliver of bacon was stuck between two of her front teeth.

``Oh, my dear God," Mr. Brooks thought to himself.

Mrs. Brooks took a sip of tea. The string of snot fell from her nose into the cup of tea.

``Oh, my dear God,'' Mr. Brooks thought, ``I cannot bear this woman one moment longer."

In the above paragraphs we see Mr. Brooks coming to the conclusion he is living in a dilemma in need of a solution. He realizes he cannot live with Mrs. Brooks one moment longer!

The Epiphany

Now let us get back to our original story, How was the West won?

I asked myself, ``At what point did the newcomers look at the natives, and think to themselves, `I cannot bear to live with you one moment longer!'"

I concluded the answer was The French and Indian War (1754–1763). Now The French and Indian War is a misnamed war if there ever was a misnamed war. In my never humble opinion, it should have been called The French and British Bugger The Colonies War. In a nutshell, the French and British brought The Seven Years War to the New World, and like fools the colonists and native peoples picked sides and fought against each other. (Perhaps history would have worked out better if they had joined forces and slaughtered the French and British soldiers as they disembarked off their ships.)

When The French and Indian War was over, the die was cast. It was almost as if our ancestors were in a science experiment where students pour two beakers of chemicals together. The chemical reactions are ruled by laws of nature, and they cannot be stopped, until they run their own course. When the The French and Indian War ended, it seemed like the acid of hate was released and there would be no end until the ``chemical reaction" was complete.

(Please, do not get the impression I am a pessimist; however accurate that impression might be!)

Motivation

Why was I motivated to figure out how the West was won?

• In my recent Chewy Choice Award write up I spent a great deal of time talking about my family and their migration from Western Pennsylvania to Kansas. In this discussion of my family's personal history I ignored the rich historical panorama or events taking place in the background.

• In the unpublished portion of my interview with Janel Munoa, Janel and I discussed how the West was really ``won''; that is, the resettlement of the portion of North America commonly referred to as the United States of America. (I do not believe we ever mentioned the movie, How the West was Won.)

Long, long, ago, in a land not so far away...

Hey, boys and girls, I did manage to get from 1754 to 1810 in my story about how the West was won. And here I thought I could whip off this little tale in a couple hours. My mistake.

Well, perhaps I will get back to the story someday. Until then, there are plenty of John Wayne movies you can watch.

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Showcase: Christopher Hanna

Karl's Toenails is a short to watch!

Christopher Hanna

Photo credit:
Christopher Hanna

Announcements

Chew Choice Award Banquet

I regret to report that the Committee Chairman of our Annual Chewy Choice Award banquet committee has reported a few setbacks. But everything is moving along nicely now.

Showcases

After the dust settles from the Chewy Choice Awards banquet, the submissions guidelines for Tim's Befuddled Universe will be revised once again. ``Oh no!'' you groan. Well, I think I am going to finally get it nearly Ok this time. The new guidelines will focus on Tim's MAILBOX and Showcases. Watch for details.

Christopher Hanna

Background

Christopher Hanna is a graphic artist from Salt Lake City. I met Christopher on Myspace. As I recall, I first saw Karl's Toenails while bumming around Myspace, and later realized it was Christopher's handiwork.

Genesis of Karl's Toenails

I asked Christopher how he got involved in this project. My summary of his answer follows.

Christopher was listening to one of Ricky Gervais' podcasts, when Gervais and a colleague related the story of Karl's Toenails. Afterwards Ricky Gervais encouraged his listeners to start a viral campaign with images of Karl with a toenail on his head. That is what gave Christopher the idea of creating an animation about Karl and his Toenail.

Christopher took the original Ricky Gervais podcast segment, which was seven plus minutes long, and he edited it down to two minutes, then created the animation to go with the background dialog.

When the short film was completed, Christopher uploaded it on YouTube, and, since that time, this little film's group of fans has continued to grow.

A copy of Karl's Toenails is provided for your pleasure below. Enjoy.

Contact information is available at Christopher Hanna's website:
http://www.phantommonkeyfeet.com

Karl's Toenails

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Film: Marisa Tomei is lovely

Before the Devil knows you're Dead
Director: Sidney Lumet

Summary: The trailer is recommended.

Wha'll we do tonight?

Bored with reruns, Mrs. Muddle and I decided to take in a movie.

The plot to Before the Devil Knows You're Dead sounded ``right up our genre'', and to top things off, we both love Marisa Tomei. (Photo Credit: Dessie1200.)

The film was only showing in one theater locally. (Do you think that was a hint?)

The theater was all the way up in Redwood City. Mrs. Muddle said she would drive. (I don't; drive that is, not much anyway.)

We arrived early. I ate a hotdog in the theater lobby. (Mrs. Muddle had noshed before we left.)

We found excellent seats, even though the film was being shown in a small and old theater.

A couple walked in shortly after Mrs. Muddle and I had seated ourselves.

No sooner did they appear, then the woman stated with some alarm, ``Good Lord! This theater is no larger than a home theater!''

I queried Mrs. Muddle, ``Do you think they really have a home theater this large?''

I had done the math. With handicapped seating, the theater sat 244. (Give or take any errors due to my lousy arithmetic.)

She replied that Steven Spielberg probably had a pretty large showing room.

I said, ``Yes, but we certainly do not! I am talking about average people.''

Mrs. Muddle, ``I imagine many people in the Valley have large home theaters.''

Mr. Muddle retorted, ``Are you saying some people are more average than others?''

Review

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead rated high in every category except Entertainment Value.

As I had hoped, I saw a great deal of Marisa Tomei.

Unfortunately, she was barely in the movie.

Marisa Tomei is lovely.

Philip Seymour Hoffman, on the other hand, got what he deserved.

There's a scene where the Tomei character says either, ``I can help'' or ``Let me help''.

The Hoffman character then looks dumbfounded. Finally, he says, ``I don't need any help.''

A few minutes later the Tomei character asks for money, and leaves.

That scene about sums up the movie for me. Tomei could have helped this movie, but apparently no one asked for her help, no one allowed her to help.

This movie is a ship looking for an iceberg.

(Here is a nice Marisa Tomei fan website.)

The Trailer:

 

Before The Devil Knows You're Dead - Trailer

Posted Sep 25, 2007

Two brothers organize the robbery of their parents' jewelry store. The job goes horribly wrong, triggering off a series of events that send them and their family hurtling towards a shattering climax.

``Keep those cards and letters comin', folks
   (Dean Martin)''.
MAILBOX

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